Last blog.. I think.

I've been using this blog as an outlet for stress and also as an opportunity to turn the mirror on itself. I'm really interested in self actualization and this class helped me a lot. This class and the lone psychology class I took have provided me with puzzle piece like information. What I take from the class I can use to figure out who I am and why I feel and do the things I do.

On that same note one line from class resonated with me and it was something like this:

No greater connection can be made than when someone connects with you inner monologue.

For me, that connection is made mostly through music. I link memories in my life with songs that I was listening to when it happened. I will forever remember the people who introduced me to my favorite bands.

I only have come across three bands who really get my inner most feelings and Id like to introduce them to you if you do not know them already.

1.) Fall Out Boy

The first song I ever came across by Fall Out Boy was Sugar We're Goin' Down. I saw that video my sophomore year of high school and since that point I bought all of their CD's and I love every song they have ever made. By far though, my favorite song of their's is Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner. (yes I know that is a quote from dirty dancing. A lot of their titles have funny meanings)

Fall Out Boy brings me back to simpler times in high school before I had a job and I just hung out with friends. I absolutely love how the lyrics don't just say lets go burn some bridges... but he actually illustrates it for you... lets drink down some gin and kerosene and spit on bridges, light a match to leave me be. Beautiful.

2.) Brand New

I have only recently been introduced to these guys but they have been around for a while. I love almost all of their music but it's on the angry depressing side of the music spectrum. Still I love them any way. Right now my favorite song by them is called Archers. Brand new helped me get through last semester when I too was a Failure By Design


3.) Walk The Moon

This band.... I have no words. They just came out (officially) in June 2012 even though they had independently released the same album in ohio like three years ago. They are great. All their songs speak to (for lack of a better expression) my soul. Anna Sun was dubbed one of the 30 summer songs of 2011 by some cool magazine that I can't remember and don't care to look up. Their sense of humor is great and I totally get it. They create these funny music videos, some of which seemingly have no relation to the song at all. The first video I saw is called Shiver Shiver and it is just this guy dancing in a parking lot, not even the lead singer mind you. It is great. Finally, one of their more goofy videos is for the song Quesadilla.

All these bands connect with me on a deep level of some sort. Sometimes I don't even know what they are saying but I love the music. I need music, If I don't have it my world seems empty and colorless. If I could have a soundtrack playing in the background of my life I'm pretty sure it would always consist of these three artists songs in some random order that went along with what was happening.


I have no idea where this post is going to end. Maybe if anyone has suggestions of band I should listen too feel free to post, also I hope you enjoyed all the videos!

Fan Art!

So...  I'm pretty proud of myself. I put a video into my blog and I am not a computer science major. Took me about 10 minutes to figure it out but here it is. This is a great video about sharing and collaboration and how the internet is letting regular people like you and me influence what goes out into the world like say a special episode of Adventure Time based on fan art. I really enjoyed it and it came from a really cool site. Welp, here you go! Hope you enjoy it

Graduation

So I'm not sure if it is the high amount of caffeine coursing through my veins, the lack of sleep, or if it's the 12th consecutive hour of staring at VectorWorks, but I just got really sad when I realized in a half an hour I will only have a week left of school. Even typing that I'm starting to tear up a bit. My entire life has revolved around school since before I can remember. I'm scared to go out into the real world; I feel like I'm not ready yet. I think I will miss studio over anything else. The crazy late nights, how crazy people get really late at night, and the crazy stories I've heard from over the partitions *mainly Sean and Casey :)*. I wasn't close to everyone in my major, but they all have become like family to me. We've struggled and succeeded together, we've cried and celebrated, and we've made it to the end in one piece somehow. I know there will be collaborations in the office setting but I have a feeling it will not be the same as studio.

I so badly wish I had one more semester :'(

And at the same time... I don't :)

I'm an Addict!!!

I just realized that I not only want Facebook.... I actually *gulp* need it.

I recently deactivated my Facebook account for the remainder of the semester because everytime I clicked the safari bubble to go online to look up some materials or find a chair for my project, I would soon find myself perusing my newsfeed. Sometimes I would end up on Facebook and not even remember why I came online in the first place! This started to worry me.. a lot actually. So I decided (with inspiration for an olympian athlete and also a fellow studio member) to shut it down.

after about 5 days without Facebook I can honestly say I feel like a drug addict. I have this nagging feeling like I'm missing out on things or the strangest things happen to me and I (seemingly) have no one to tell. I also feel really lonely and cut off from my friends who other than Facebook I would probably only be in contact with 3 days out of a year. I get the urge to log onto Facebook about 5 - 8 times a day I would estimate. It is seriously insane and I am ashamed of myself. I have a file on my computer that I am saving things so that once I do reactivate my page I can post things.... it's so embarrassing.

Can I really be addicted to Facebook? 

Can a person actually become addicted to an action? 

In all actuality I mainly use it so I don't feel so lonely when I am in studio late at night with no one around or if I've been cooped up with homework in my dorm for weeks on end. I don't feel like such a prisoner or slave to my project when I can check out what other people are doing. I can pretend that I am still connected and having fun. I almost start to live vicariously through other people who actually are having fun out in the real world. Its pretty weird but it actually makes me feel better when I can see what other people are doing. I find now I tend to bother my friends more. It's kind of funny that I actually think it's bothering to send 5 texts. but it kind of is. if everyone I knew sent me a minimum of 5 texts a day I would have a full inbox by noon. it just isn't possible to stay that close with 30 people, or 50 or 100 (or 600 for those of you who are REALLY popular).


I don't know how to end this entry except to say that I miss my FB account... Aug 13th at 6 P.M. I'll be back!

Jesus Christ

"Well Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die, I’m a little bit scared of what comes after. Do I get the gold chariot? Do I float through the ceiling? Do I divide and fall apart?

'Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark

And the ship went down in sight of land

And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands"

(sorry for such a long quote)

I try to question everything. That’s why I don’t believe in God. God is absolute. The end all, be all. If we all of humanity had no questions then we would never get any answers (or inventions, or technology, or any innovation what so ever). I am afraid of what happens to me when I die but I’m not afraid enough to accept any answer that might ease my mind. In fact, I would rather believe this is the only life you get because it would bring about a better appreciation of everything. If you know your time is limited, one tries to be the best they can be, to see all they can and basically get as much as they can out of this crazy, organized, random, chaos, of semi-linked events. 

I can relate anything back to a video game or movie -I’d like to think it is a hidden talent of mine- but It is just like in the game Mass Effect, the Asari race lives for centuries and they are still kids in a sense when they are under 100 years old or so. They see us as sort of bullies in the universe, we run around and get what we want, but it is because we need to get things done in a short time. As a singular person, we don’t have very long to live so we have a crazy ambition that other races do not posses/need. They have eons to get their problems solved. 

Even in the movie Troy, there was a quote that stuck with me:

“I'll tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple. The gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now, and we will never be here again.”

That is probably one of the most beautiful arrangement of words that I had heard up until that point in my life, and it doesn’t hurt that Brad Pitt spoke them ;)

The Internet

The internet is a strange, wonderful, terrifying, mind altering thing... I probably couldn't live without it now that I've had it for so long. I'm a cyborg :( 

Cyborg?

Just because we discovered the earth is't actually flat, doesn't mean we still don't call it earth. the properties may change and our perception of a thing may evolve but we don't change the name. We are not cyborgs... we are just enhanced. we are still human at the core. The thing that makes us human is intangible just like gravity, or dark matter. I don't think it is about gender, art, or any physical thing (almost on a daily basis I have an argument about if a person is a man or woman so theres that.)